Friday, May 16, 2014

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Committing

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” --William Hutchison Murray

Many years ago Anne Lamott wrote a regular column on Salon.com. It was the first "blog" I followed faithfully and I looked forward to it every week. Then one day she announced that she was stopping. She had a book to write and needed to focus all of her energy on her new book. I was heartbroken and incensed. "WHY couldn't she do both?" I whined to The Universe and anyone else who would listen. 

This week I had a similar realization about my own work. For years I have wanted to be "a writer." I knew what that meant - I wanted to write a book. But instead of sitting down and writing a book I dabbled. I journaled. I blogged. I took jobs that had nothing to do with writing and did them for a few years until I realized, once again, that what I really want to do is write. 

A couple of weeks ago I did it again. I signed up with a freelancing site and took a couple of jobs. And I wrote. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. For four or five hours a day I researched and I wrote and then I wrote again. I made about $2 per hour on the two assignments I took, but I was writing. 

What I realized, however, is that this is not the kind of writing I really want to do and that these freelance assignments left me with no energy to do any other kind of writing. (And also, all of that time on the computer made my eyes so tired that I got a terrible headache. I need to save my "screentime" for work I really want to do.)

So that brings me to this: I need to take a hiatus from all other writing, and that includes this blog.

Don't get me wrong this blog and my first one have been instrumental in teaching me what it takes to be a writer and in helping me discover that this is what I really want to do, but right now I must commit myself to something that has been nipping at my heals for years: A book.

A book I finish and a book I am proud of. A book I love. Even if no one ever reads it. Even it it is never published. Even if I completely fail.

So today I am taking the leap. Today I am making the commitment. I am going to write a book.

See you on the other side.

[BTW...Three years later Ms Lamott started writing for Salon again and has done so off and on for the past ten years. Yay!]

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Some thoughts on FEELINGS


"Feelings, nothing more than feelings..." -- Morris Albert

I can't think of the word feelings without hearing this song, but who knew it was sung by a guy??? I would have sworn it was Barbara Streisand or some other female diva. But no, it's this guy. (I also found this version by Nina Simone, which I think is pretty amazing.)

Anyway, my Guides wanted to talk about FEELINGS today. Here's what they had to say: 
Enjoy all of your feelings, not just those you have labeled 'good.' When you stop and really feel them, all emotions feel good. Think about it. Doesn't it feel good to feel sad sometimes? Or to feel the rush of anger? The exhilaration of joy? The bubbling up of excitement? Do you allow yourself to truly feel all of your feelings or do you tamp some of them down? Label them 'bad' or 'evil' or 'too much?'
Acting on your feelings is a different matter entirely. It is not okay to lash out in anger or shame someone else with your success, but to authentically feel the emotions present within our body is essential to living a full life. Commit to feeling your feelings today in all of their multifarious varieties.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Some thoughts on TRUST.


A friend of my son's taking the leap. 

"Trust is an all-in, two feet off the ground leap into the abyss." --The Akashic Records

I had a realization about trust the other day, that what I have been experiencing as trust is not trust at all, but merely confidence. Confidence in life's propensity and probability to continue along as it has for the past forty-five years, bringing me mostly good, mostly ease, mostly luck.

I realized, standing at my kitchen sink washing dishes, that this isn't trust at all and I decided to investigate the notion of trust a little further. So I asked my Guides, through the Akashic Records, about Trust. Here is what they had to say:

Trust is believing in the power for good despite what you see before you. It is believing in hope when all is despair, it is believing in love when surrounded by hate, it is believing in the positive when all that is presenting itself is the opposite.

You have all been in this place - some in the extreme, others to less of an extreme - where everything looks bleak and seems hopeless. When the test comes back positive, when what is hoped for is not realized, when love is lost, when tempers flare, when hearts sink and stomachs roil. It can be overwhelming to be on this earth and in these bodies and it is at these times that trust shows itself, or not.

Trust is believing that God is good - that life is good - when your child is sick, when your home is being mortgaged, when your heart feels heavy, when your love has left you. It is believing that God is working through this situation when all evidence is to the contrary. When there does not appear to be enough money, or enough time, or enough help, you know without a doubt that God is reliable and that money will be sent, time will expand and help will show up.

Trust is an all-in, two feet off the ground leap into the abyss.

Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust is putting one foot in front of the other when you do not know where you are going. It is moving forward when all you want to do it step back, or stepping out when all you want to do is curl up into a ball, sink into the couch or pull the covers over your head. Trust is believing in the power for good when all you can see is dark and no light. When God's plan is in direct opposition to your plan.

It is taking a leap without a net or a hand to hold or a back-up plan.

When you place your trust in God it does not absolve you of all responsibility. You are still in the driver's seat of your own life, but it means using God as your navigation system instead of the world.

Where are you being led? What is sparking your interest today? Trust that God has a plan for you and for your life. Trusting is giving over, it is taking your hands off the wheel and screaming "Woo Hoo!" while the wind blows through your hair on the highway of life.

Trust is believing in the messages you are receiving about your life and next steps. It is following the signs even when they don't make any sense. It is not recklessness, or mindlessness, but following that inner compass and not the outer ones. Trust flows from a grounded and centered place, not one without a foundation.

Trust is certain and sure, not confusion and uncertainty. It is centered in the heart and grounded into the earth and connected to source. It does not waiver or falter based on external conditions, but finds its strength inside the body, in the heart center.