lara simmons

"Opening to the world begins to benefit ourselves and others simultaneously. The more we relate with others, the more quickly we discover where we’re blocked. Seeing this is helpful, but it’s also painful. Sometimes we use it as ammunition against ourselves: we aren’t kind, we aren’t honest, we aren’t brave, and we might as well give up right now. But when we apply the instruction to be soft and nonjudgmental to whatever we see at this very moment, the embarrassing reflection in the mirror becomes our friend. We soften further and lighten up more, because we know it’s the only way we can continue to work with others and be of any benefit in the world. This is the beginning of growing up." -- Pema Chodron "Fucked up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not judgments, punishments, or betrayals. They are a purely peaceable thing: the basic principles you identify for yourself that define t...

Even a tree as tall as this one once was is not permanent, AND from this stump now grows a brand new tree "We all develop addictions as a way of avoiding the realities of impermanence and loss."  --Satya Robyn Impermanence and loss. These are  the realities of our human life. And they are hard realities to live with day in and day out for decades (if we are lucky). I agree with Satya that it is out of avoiding these realities that we develop addictions and, ironically, I have found that it is only in facing these realities on a daily basis that we can begin to let our addictions go. Facing the realities of life and beginning to absorb the fact of impermanence and loss, the constant shifting and changing, the impossibility of ever really grasping and holding onto anything (a job, a relationship, a friend, a home) is what ultimately allows us to begin to let go of our addictions and to truly enjoy our lives, every precious fleeting moment. Today I invite you to ask yo...

  "A word I've come across a lot during the years is 'abundance'. Self-help books encourage us to welcome abundance into our lives. If we think abundant thoughts then abundance will automatically grace us. The dictionary tells me that abundance is, 'an extremely plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply.' In these difficult financial times, is it realistic to expect abundance? Do we really need an 'oversufficient quantity'? I'm coming to feel pretty fond of the word 'enough'. Enough is saving the washing up water and putting it on the roses. It's appreciating every melting moment of a square of bitter chocolate. It's chanting for an extra half hour, even though you're dying for a cup of tea. It's having a terrible morning and then noticing those red berries on a walk to the post-box. Those red berries! Enough feels more realistic than endless abundance. Enough is satisfying. Enough is not-always-what-I...

"The journey is the destination." --"Physical Phil" from October Road, Pilot The easy answer is: MY KIDS. Those two little boys whose burps and farts, cries and screeches -  whose very presence - have filled up my world for more than ten years now. Elizabeth Stone said that having children is like having your heart walking around outside of your body. For me, it feels more like two baby-shaped pieces of myself have been let loose into the world and two similarly-shaped holes left in my body. At first I could not bear to be away from them for more than a few minutes, then a few hours, and now I can handle even a few days . But if I think one of them is lost, or I am not absolutely certain of where they are - even for a few minutes - that old panic starts to surface and I feel the loss again in my body. The truth is, however, that living for them gets me into trouble. It leads to unrealistic expectations of behavior (mine and theirs) and a desire for appreci...