Thursday, November 21, 2013

Back in the Saddle

"Just let things be, just as they are." --Evie Chauncey, Assistant Teacher at the NW Vipassana Center

Whew! It's good to be home. My intention was to start blogging immediately upon my return, sharing all the insights and inspiration from my latest ten-day retreat, but The Universe had other plans....

If I recall correctly, last year it took me a few days to "plug back in" also and I had a hard time writing about the experience. Oh how I wish I had now.

Last year is, in my mind, a lovely memory of a week of great peace and discovery and ultimately, a greater awakening. The things I remembered were the food (delicious!), the walks (peaceful), the naps (also delicious).

The harder things are fuzzier in my mind: the early rising (4:00am), the hours of sitting with your legs crossed (painful), and the mind-numbing boredom that sometimes creeps in after 90 minutes (or sometimes 9) minutes of meditation.

This year was harder. Much harder.

Not being new to the technique I did not have as much to learn and I did not find every nuance so fascinating. I knew what was coming - that after one whole day (10 plus hours) of observing our respiration, we still had ten more hours of that to go before we moved on. Having experienced it all before I just wasn't as excited about the whole thing.

In fact, there were days - a few of them - on which I just wanted to get the heck out of there. I wanted to hop the fence, somehow start my car without the key (like I know how to do that :p) and drive away, leaving all of my things behind.

But I didn't. I stuck it out and tried to work through it. And I guess I did, but it wasn't pretty. And it isn't something I can automatically say I want to repeat. I WANT to want to go back next year, but I'm just not sure I'm going to want to.

Ironically, I came back with even more quotes, ideas and insights than last year. So, watch this space if you are interested in hearing more.

In the meantime, be well.


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