"The Ego needs 100% participation, if you use conscious awareness you can break the Ego's grip." --David Pond, speaking at East West Bookshop
We have heard a lot of talk about "the one percent," the wealthiest of the wealthy who often pay no taxes and enjoy privileges many of us don't even know to dream of. Friday night I heard about another one percent, a one percent that interests me a lot more, and that may even help some of us deal with the wealthy one percent, or at least our reactions to them.
This one percent is one percent consciousness, which, according to astrologer and metaphysical counselor David Pond, is all it takes to break the Ego's grip.
Think about it, in those moments where we are overcome by emotions of the Ego - greed, pride, lust, anger, despair, etc. - if we can just hang onto one percent of our consciousness, one percent of our positive thoughts, one percent of our connection to our Source, one percent of our presence - we can beat the Ego at its own game and save ourselves a lot of pain,
This talk was particularly appropriate for me because just a few nights prior I had been in the throes of a full Ego attack in a fight with my husband.
We had just started an elimination diet recommended by his ND so we were both a little hungry and suffering from withdrawal from wheat, caffeine, sugar, and dairy. I had been at home all day with the kids and was exhausted; he had been at work all day and was the same.
So he came home from work, said a perfunctory hello and went straight to bed for a two hour nap.
This kind of thing makes me angry on a normal day, but on this particular day I was livid. How dare he? Doesn't he think I am tired too? Doesn't he realize I am detoxing too? Doesn't he care that I made all the "special" meals for us today? Aren't we supposed to be doing this together?
I could go on...and on....and on....but you get the idea. I was MAD.
And instead of going into the bedroom and waking him up and asking him any one of these questions in a calm and kind voice, I went on the attack. It was a rant of epic proportions. And then I went to the guest room and slept by myself so I could rant some more alone in my head.
When I woke up in the morning we had a long talk and sorted it all out, but what I find really interesting is that when I was listening to David Pond's talk all I could think about was this night and my experience of it.
All night long I kept feeling that one percent of my consciousness fighting my Ego.
In my head it looks something like this: I am moving towards my husband with aggression and there is a little swoosh of energy trailing behind my head, trying to disconnect, trying to get my attention, trying to stay conscious. And then all of a sudden - WOOSH! - my Ego sucks it up and I am gone. Done. Cooked. Enraged. And it's all over for my conscious self at that moment.
Luckily for me years of meditation means that it comes back a lot sooner than it used to. In the middle of the night, towards early down I began to be aware of it again. Little thoughts like, "Maybe I could have...." or "If only I'd...." began to trickle in as I started to look at my part in our little domestic drama.
I know that I was trying that night to stay away from shame and blame and recrimination, but I just couldn't keep the Ego from taking over. I couldn't hold onto the one percent that night. Maybe next time I can. I know if I keep trying, eventually I will.
I leave you with one final quote from David Pond that might have helped me that night and that I hope will help you next time you are fighting with your Ego:
"Don't believe a thing your shameless mind comes up with when you are in a funky place."