Saturday, April 9, 2016

28 Days of Abstinence - Day 20 - The Path of True Awakening

"...[T]o stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening.” --Pema Chodron

Leave it to Pema Chodron to rock the addiction quote like she rocks everything else. This woman gets life in a human body. She just gets it. 

We had some family over last night and we ordered Chinese food. And there was General Tso's Chicken, breaded and sauced to perfection. And I wanted some.

My left hand was holding the platter, my right hand was on the spoon, and then I realized, "breaded" probably meant "wheat." Ugh.

I started to question - and then to bargain - and then I put the spoon down and stayed with the feeling of wanting and not getting. And, surprisingly, it didn't last all that long.

But what about when it's about something more than Chinese food? When your partner is sick, or your kid is in trouble, or your job is in jeopardy? Staying when the sensation lasts longer than a few minutes is not easy. It is hard work. Warriors' work

Abstaining from that which you want, from that which is doing harm to self or others, from that which to abstain from is bringing up feelings you may want to run away from, can be the training ground for deeper levels of staying - staying with yourself and your feelings when the sh*t really hits the fan. And THAT is path of true awakening. And you are on it.

Thank you for your efforts and keep up the good work!

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