"I realized that you can actually get mad and stop being mad in matter of minutes, as long as you set your mind to it. It was up to me to decide how I wanted to feel inside..." --Pernilla Hjort on www.tinybuddha.com
Someone was snarky on the phone with me this morning and it hurt my feelings. I was just trying to do my job, but to them I guess it felt like pressure.
Immediately I got the hit that this wasn't about me, that something else was going on: a sick kid, a broken refrigerator, a bad night's sleep, or maybe just a bad day. But it still hurt and I was having trouble letting it go.
I reminded myself of an article I read years ago that stuck with me. The article said that 80% of the time when someone snaps at you or does something mean to you it has nothing to do with you. 80%! That's a LARGE percentage of the time.
I try and think about that whenever something like this happens so that I can let it go as soon as I can, but this one was sticking. Probably because I have been short on sleep myself the past few nights and busier than is comfortable for me the past few days. I am feeling some stress and just needed to be appreciated for making the call, but appreciation is not what I got.
What to do?
As I walked the dog around the block, I made the decision to forgive.
I located the bad feeling in my body (it was just below my rib cage on the left side) and gave myself a massage as I walked, consciously focusing on letting it go. When I got home, I said the Buddhist forgiveness prayer from yesterday's post and felt my heart lift a little.
It is not completely gone yet, so I am going to do some yoga, take a salt water bath and continue to work on it. Because I want to feel good inside and that is MY choice.
[BTW...the article I quote above is fabulous and I highly recommend checking it out. :)]