Forty years ago I "auditioned" to paint the new mural at our local library. My best friend and I went together. She was chosen. I was not.
When the librarian told me I had not made the cut, I was crushed and in my kindergarten mind I came to the following conclusion: I am not an Artist.
Over the years I reinforced this idea by repeatedly saying things like, "I can't draw," "I'm not good at art," "I'm not very creative."
And sure enough, I came to believe it.
Today I have decided to forgive this librarian - who I am sure has/had no idea the impact of her decision on one little girl's life - and to let go of this false belief about myself.
I AM AN ARTIST.
I may not use oils or watercolors on a canvas, but I create everyday - in my kitchen when I make dinner for my family, on the blank page when I sit down to write, and sometimes even with pen and ink on the back of the electric bill.
We have all been the victim of "unintended consequences" and I am sure we have all made decisions that had unintended consequences for others.
What decision or comment on the part of someone else led you to make an overly harsh or incorrect judgement about yourself? Are you ready to let it go through some forgiveness work? I would love to hear your story about forgiving someone who didn't even know how badly they hurt you.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
When I went to do my forgiveness letter to the librarian today, I realized the person I actually needed to forgive was my 5-year old self who made the assumption that she wasn't good enough. She's carried that guilt long enough.
Another reminder that "All forgiveness is self-forgiveness." Thanks Universe!